Lilypie - First Birthday

Monday, November 28, 2011

Where do we go from here?

Hello everyone. I haven't posted in a while because I had to take some time to try and figure things out. We went on a 7-day cruise and got back yesterday. We had a good time with friends and it was nice to just get away.  The best part of the trip was the 1st night when me and the hubby had an intimate dinner alone.  We sat and talked for almost 3 hours! We talked about our future and where we go from here...do we try IVF again? Should we jump into adoption? Should we take a break? 

All we know is that we want to be parents with all of our hearts and that God has a plan. We trust Him and we trust His plan.  Will that plan allow us to have our own biological children? I don't know. Will that plan have us become parents to a child in need? I don't know. What I do know is that we are not quitters and we will have a family one day. 

I'm thankful that I am regaining my joy and that I am able to smile again. 

Until next time. xo

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Emotionally exhausted...

We are both emotionally exhausted.

Right now, I dont know how to feel. I feel so many things right now.

It felt so real...so close...its funny how in 24 hours your hope can go from 1,000 to 0. I feel like its a shattered dream. For some its so easy and for women like me, its seems like only a dream.

I keep thinking that its time to take my next shot or its time to take my meds...I feel like yesterday didnt really happen. I didnt think it would hurt this much. I guess its because I actually had 2 embryos in my womb and for a short period of time...I was pregnant and now I'm not.

Oh well, life goes on. Thanks again for all your support. xoxo

Monday, November 14, 2011

It didn't work...

After 42 shots...numerous meds...and an emotional roller coaster...today we found out that I am not pregnant...our IVF cycle did not work.


Negative result...I'm numb, angry and beyond brokenhearted...good night.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The 2ww (2 week wait)...

For those of us that have done any fertility treatments, we know the term "the 2ww". Its the amount of time you wait to find out if you are pregnant.  I've heard its hard and honestly I've been keeping myself busy so it hasn't been too bad but now that my test date is almost here...it seems like time is moving so slow!!! Just a couple more days and we will find out the results of our IVF cycle...I cant wait!

Other than that, things are going great.  I have noticed a few changes in the way I've been feeling but it could be a result of the progesterone and estrogen that I'm taking...so I'm trying not to get too excited.  I'm still doing my nightly injections in the tushy...I think my butt is so bruised internally that its getting used to being in pain all day.  Aye....Below is a picture of my nightly routine...heating pad, injection, heating pad. 


Until next time...xo

Monday, November 7, 2011

Back to work today...

Today was a good day. I went back to work and I was so happy to see my kiddos.  When I walked in the class, I was greeted by all these notes!!! I took them home tonight and I just finished reading them all and they are so sweet!
The day went well, I sat most of the day because it hurts to stand for a long period of time.  I really had a good day and the kids were so happy to see me (the clapped when I opened the door in the morning...it was so cute).  The day went fairly fast and after school I had so much to do. I AM EXHAUSTED!!! Tomorrow I go in for more blood work to check my hormone levels...one more week until we find out.  I dont know if I can make it!!! Til next time...xo

Friday, November 4, 2011

Thank you!

Hi everyone! Not much going on in the Sotomayor house the past few days! Today I finally got out of bed and took a shower...applause!!! LOL I seriously have been bed-riden since Tuesday!!! Now I'm up and about and enjoying this rainy day at home. This morning we had some visitors come by and shower us with Coffee Bean and treats (thanks pastor Dan & Jess..we love you!).  Other than that, I'm taking my meds and doing my dreadful shot in the tushy every night :(


I titled this post ''THANK YOU"because I am so overwhelmed by YOU...all of you that have been so supportive and helpful.  Thank you for every comment, every prayer and every offer to help.  Thank you for every phone call, encouraging text and email.  Thank you for every meal and visit.  Thank you for every card, treat and baby book/magazine.  Thank you for allowing me to cry on your shoulders the past few years.  Thank you to my friends far and close who are praying for me.  Thank you to my work colleagues that have been there for me in so many ways and for all the support you continuously give me.  I really cannot thank you all enough.  I have the best support group...my beautiful friends and family. I couldn't have gone through this with out you. Until next time...xo

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Day 2 on bed rest...I'm already going crazy!!! LOL

Good morning all...well, I'm on day 2 of bed rest.  I must say that Im pretty relaxed...not bored just restless. Its all good though because its all for a good cause :)

I saw this commercial while I was watching TV and I just had to google it.  It has such a sweet message. Its a Pampers commercial called "Miracle"...to all the moms and future moms out there, you will enjoy it! xo

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Embryo Transfer Done!!! Now bed rest!

Today went really well! We got to the hospital around 7am and they took me right into the back.  I took a valium before we went and it was nice! LOL I had never taken one of those before...anyway they took us back and had us meet with the embryologist and nurse.  She showed us a picture of our embryos and said they looked great.  We signed a few forms and I was told to change.

Ok, after I changed, they led us into the laboratory and we got to see our embryos under the microscope! I started to tear up...OMG our little embryos were there. A product of me and my hubby fighting to become a potential baby. Wow. Such an amazing process.

These are our 2 embryos!!! This is what they look like after 5 days :)


Ohhh...I forgot to mention that I had to drink soooo much water before hand so the ultrasound could be clearer. Woah...I was scared I was going to pee on my doctor! My bladder was sooooo full!!!

Afterwards we went back into the procedure room and they dimmed the lights because embryos are sensitive to light and smells. I will spare you the lovely details...The procedure went relatively fast; probably over in 30 minutes.  Afterwards I had to lay on my back for an hour (minus the several times I went to empty my bladder). After my hubby and I had "a moment", we invited our entourage in the room with us! My mom, dad, brother, Casie and Tammy. I love them. 



So now, I will continue a few meds and stay laying on my back for three days...its almost 6pm right now and Ive been on my back since 8 am and I'm already going crazy!! LOL. I'm used to being  a busy body! I go back next week for a hormone level blood test and in 2 weeks for my pregnancy test.  Til next time...xo

After we got home, my mom and Casie on bed rest with me :)

Monday, October 31, 2011

Embryo Transfer tomorrow!!! Woo hoo!

Ok ladies and gentlemen...its the moment we've been waiting for...THE EMBRYO TRANSFER! This is when they will put my embryos (that have been growing in the lab) back into my uterus! How exciting...so when I leave the hospital tomorrow, I will have 2 little embryos in my belly!!! BUT the embryos have to attach themselves to the uterine wall...thats actually when a pregnancy is achieved.  For that we have to wait 10 days for our blood test.  Until then, its normal to have some early pregnancy symptoms :)



So we have to be there at 7:00 and my procedure will begin at 7:30am.  I wont be put to sleep, just on valium. Then afterwards I have to lay on my back for a while and then they will discharge me.  I will be on bed rest for 3 days following that.

Other than that, I'm still in extreme pain from the shots.  Today its hard to walk.  It takes me 5 minutes to go down my stairs...or get in/out of the car. BUT...I'm motivated.  I can do this!!!

Boy, what a process...IVF is really cool and I'm not ashamed of it.  God is in the midst of my situation and He holds my baby (or babies) future in His hands. xoxo

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Ouch, ouch and ouch!!! IM Progesterone shots really hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, the nurses and the doctor kept telling me how painful they would be and boy were they right! I have a pretty high pain tolerence so I figured it would hurt but NOT THIS BAD! IM (intramuscular) injections go right into the upper part of my rear.  The needle is huge but thats not the problem...the actual injections dont hurt too bad.  Its the day after that I wanna cry of pain. It feels like someone has punched me really hard in the area...plus imagine your hardest day of working out when you cant sit, bend or walk...yup, thats how I feel all day! I have to do these every day for the next 2 weeks and then if I'm pregnant, I do them for 10 weeks every night!!!!

See the needle??? yeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

The purpose of this shot is to give my body progesterone.  Progesterone is a pregnancy hormone.  When a woman gets pregnant, the body produces it.  It thickens the uterine wall to be able to carry a baby.  The progesterone is in olive oil, which makes it very thick to inject.

Please pray for my pain to subside and for these injections to get easier...at this point, I would rather go back to the abdomen shots ANY DAY, 3X/DAY, rather than continue these. Wishful thinking, I know...so for now I will keep reciting Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"and keep my eye on the prize!!! Until next time...xoxo

Friday, October 28, 2011

Egg retrieval went well!!!! Yes...........

Yesterday was my egg retrieval and it went really well! Thank you Lord! For the few weeks I have been taking TONS of injections of fertility drugs. My prayer during this time was that the drugs would work well with my body and make lots of egg...well they did! For those of you that don't know exactly what goes on during an egg retrieval, I found this short video online.


See, isn't that amazing! So yesterday I had to be at the hospital at 7:15am. My procedure was suppose to start at 8am sharp.  Well that didn't happen.  Why?? Two letters...IV.  I've never had an IV before, nor have I been put to sleep so I really didn't know what to expect.  I was scared and freezing. To make a long story short, it took around 30 minutes to get my IV going.  Apparently I have small veins and it was hard to get the IV in.  After 3 nurses couldn't get it to work, they called the anesthesiologist and he was able to do it after a few pokes. So nine painful pokes later...I finally had my IV going.  My hand today is swollen and bruised. 

After my IV was in, they walked me over to the OR.  I was greeted by my doc (Dr. Wong), the anesthesiologist, and about 5 nurses.  Once they got me situated on the table, they gave me something to make me relax. Woooooo hoooooo that was some good stuff!! LOL. A few minutes later, I remember the anesthesiologist saying "I'm gonna give you something to make you sleepy"... and BAM that was all I remember. It went really well and when they woke me up, my husband and mom were in the room. They said I keep asking them "Where is the doctor? Is doctor Wong here?" LOL and I kept asking my mom if she went to work! Hahahaha...it took me longer than normal to come out from the effect of anesthesia and I kept feeling nauseous. Yucky.





Anyways, they were able to retrieve 11 eggs which is a great number!!! Yay!!! So T had to go "contribute"...cough, cough and they mix the two together. They called us last night and said that 8 of them fertilized! How cool is that!!! I got a little emotional. It trips me out to think that I have 8 little fertilized cells trying to become embryos. So now we wait. They will call me each day to give me a report of how my embryos are developing. We go back on Tuesday to have them put in (the amount we put in is up to me and the hubs...no octomom going on over here!). 

I feel ok. Major cramping and I'm recovering well :)




Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Trigger Shot...in the tush!!! LOL

Well today was the last day I had to inject in the stomach...yea!!!



BUT...notice I didnt say I'm done with shots! Tonight I did my first IM (intramuscular injection) in my tushy!!! I was soooo nervous but it really didnt hurt! It felt like a pinch. Russ did this one and I'm glad because he is the professional.  Of course I had a full audience...Shannon, Isaac, Tammy, Russ, Hailey and my wonderful hubby.  They were there cheering me on!

So where do we go from here??? No shots tomorrow...THANK YOU JESUS!!  Thursday morning is our egg retrieval.  We have to be at the hospital at 7:15am and the procedure starts at 8! I'm so excited and of course nervous because Ive never been put to sleep before.  God is with me...

Sunday, October 23, 2011

IVF Humor...funny :)





Day 8...taking Ganerilix

This is the most recent medication that Im taking.  I started this one on Friday.  It is to keep my body from ovulating since I have eggs that are ready.  So far so good :)

I have another appointment in the morning at 7am.  I'm pretty sure I'll have more bloodwork and another ultrasound to see how my follicles are doing.  Hopefully things are well and I am still scheduled for me egg retrieval on Wednesday.

At least my hubby comes home tonight. I missed him :)

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 6...more blood work and an ultrasound

TGIF! Boy what a week! In all fairness its been a good week minus the headaches I had earlier in the week. Thank God I haven had headaches the past 3 days so I'm a happy camper!

My mom spent the night last night and gave me my injections.  She's good at it. She does it in a way that they don't really hurt! So this morning she came with me to my doctor appt.  I had blood drawn first and then went in a private room for my ultrasound.  My doctor was out of town so one of his colleagues did the ultrasound today.  I will spare you the "lovely details" (lovely, my butt) and move to the results.  The doctor said everything was progressing well and it looked like as of today I had around 6-8 mature follicles ready to go! Therefore....they started me on another injectable medication called 'Ganerellix'.  So now I have 1 in the morning and 2 at night :( This medication is to prevent me from ovulating since my body has mature eggs its natural response is to ovulate.  They don't want that to happen until next week until my procedure.

I'm hanging in there though! God is giving me strength!

T comes back on Sunday...I miss him a lot.  He said today he ministered in a Panamanian prison and it went well.  Ok, till next time...xo

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day 5

Well, today is day five of injections (AKA stims).  I had bloodwork done yesterday morning and my estrogen level was 463! Holy cow! Just to give you an idea, a woman aged 25-30 has a normal estrogen level of around 110-150 and a menopausal woman has an estrogen level of about 20-50!

Thank God though, I'm actually doing ok. My moods are pretty normal and I feel for the most part ok.  The side effects I'm feeling now are extreme bloating (feels so heavy and like when you have a gas bubble down there...ouch), slight cramping, and tiredness.  Of course for 3 days straight I had a headache and yesterday and today I didnt! Thank you Jesus! They were so intense....oh man.

So tomorrow morning I go to the doctor again for more blood work and an ultrasound. (By the way...I am so sick of vaginal ultrasounds...they are so uncomfortable especially when your doctor always brings interns in to learn/watch!!! LOL) 

Oh and since T is gone, Ive been giving myself the injections! I'm so proud of myself...at first I couldnt do it. Now I just ice the area to make it numb  and then inject the needle.  Not to bad although I am super sore from all the pokes. Tonight my mom is coming to spend the night she will be here to help me. Yay :)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

omg..............

OMG...............third day in a row with the most intensive headache ever.

Called the doctor's office and they said its very common.  headaches are from my high levels of estrogen. the only thing i can take is tylenol (never works for me). ugh.......

it hurts so bad :(

Monday, October 17, 2011

Injections...

Well, yesterday was day one of injections and it went pretty well.  They don't necessarily "hurt" because the needles are pretty small. The medication does sting a once its in the body for about 5 minutes.  My morning injection, Follitism, goes in a pen-like gadget which makes it pretty easy to do.  You insert the vial, turn the knob to the amount of medication you need and push.  Pretty simple.

Insert video here (I taped us doing our first injection but for some reason it wont load) Bummer!


My evening medication is a little more advanced.  You use a syringe and requires mixing the medication with sodium chloride (water).  Then you extract the mixed medication from the vial and inject it into a 2nd vial.  Swirl that around and then extract that into the syringe.  Replace the needle and inject into the abdomen.  Last night we had an air bubble and couldn't flick it out...got frustrated...so I went to Russ & Tammy's house for help! Of course they knew exactly what to do and Tammy gave me my injection.  Let's face it. We aren't in the medical field and both have NEVER done anything like this before so we went to someone who does! LOL. Now we know what we are doing so tonight should be better.


Other than the injections themselves, Ive had headaches the past 2 days (no bueno).  I was told that headaches were a side effect to the meds so I'm hoping it wont be every day.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

God's promises for me!

I hold onto these scriptures and I believe them with all my heart.  The bible says that God is the same yesterday, today and forever so if He healed the infertile women in the bible then He will do it for me too! I will continue to stand on His word. Amen!



Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth.
-Gen 9:1

For you created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Your works are wonderful. 
-Psalm 139:13-14

He makes the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of her children. Praise the Lord. 
-Psalm 113:9

He will bless you and love you: He will bless the fruit of my womb...there shall not be male or female barren among you. 
-Deut 7:13-14

With God nothing is impossible. 
-Luke 1:37

In all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us. 
-romans 8:37

No weapon formed against me shall prosper...
-Isaiah 54:17

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 
-Psalm 37:4

Your wife will be a fruitful vine in your house. Your children will be like olive branches around your table. 
-Psalm 128:3

Meds, meds & more meds...

So here are all my IVF meds that I'll be using over the next couple of weeks! Woah! I feel like I have a mini-pharmacy in our kitchen. 

Here we go...

Today I'm feeling very excited and a little scared.  I've been waiting for this time to come for almost a year  now and now its here! Tomorrow I start my injections. Dun-dun-duuuuunnn!!! Yesterday I picked up my box of meds from the doctors office and rushed home to open them...woah. I was shocked to see how many needles and meds there were.

Tomorrow I start Follitism and Menopour...Follitism is hormone called follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). FSH helps to develop eggs in the ovaries of women.  I will be on this injection for the next 10 days and I will take it in the morning.  Menopour will be my evening injection. Menopour is used to stimulate ovulation (the release of an egg) and are also used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs for in vitro fertilization.


So basically for the next 10 days...I will become BFF's with needles...YUCKY! But it will all be worth it in the end.