Where do we go from here?

Hello everyone. I haven't posted in a while because I had to take some time to try and figure things out. We went on a 7-day cruise and got back yesterday. We had a good time with friends and it was nice to just get away.  The best part of the trip was the 1st night when me and the hubby had an intimate dinner alone.  We sat and talked for almost 3 hours! We talked about our future and where we go from here...do we try IVF again? Should we jump into adoption? Should we take a break? 

All we know is that we want to be parents with all of our hearts and that God has a plan. We trust Him and we trust His plan.  Will that plan allow us to have our own biological children? I don't know. Will that plan have us become parents to a child in need? I don't know. What I do know is that we are not quitters and we will have a family one day. 

I'm thankful that I am regaining my joy and that I am able to smile again. 

Until next time. xo

Emotionally exhausted...

We are both emotionally exhausted.

Right now, I dont know how to feel. I feel so many things right now.

It felt so real...so close...its funny how in 24 hours your hope can go from 1,000 to 0. I feel like its a shattered dream. For some its so easy and for women like me, its seems like only a dream.

I keep thinking that its time to take my next shot or its time to take my meds...I feel like yesterday didnt really happen. I didnt think it would hurt this much. I guess its because I actually had 2 embryos in my womb and for a short period of time...I was pregnant and now I'm not.

Oh well, life goes on. Thanks again for all your support. xoxo

It didn't work...

After 42 shots...numerous meds...and an emotional roller coaster...today we found out that I am not pregnant...our IVF cycle did not work.


Negative result...I'm numb, angry and beyond brokenhearted...good night.

The 2ww (2 week wait)...

For those of us that have done any fertility treatments, we know the term "the 2ww". Its the amount of time you wait to find out if you are pregnant.  I've heard its hard and honestly I've been keeping myself busy so it hasn't been too bad but now that my test date is almost here...it seems like time is moving so slow!!! Just a couple more days and we will find out the results of our IVF cycle...I cant wait!

Other than that, things are going great.  I have noticed a few changes in the way I've been feeling but it could be a result of the progesterone and estrogen that I'm taking...so I'm trying not to get too excited.  I'm still doing my nightly injections in the tushy...I think my butt is so bruised internally that its getting used to being in pain all day.  Aye....Below is a picture of my nightly routine...heating pad, injection, heating pad. 

Until next time...xo

Back to work today...

Today was a good day. I went back to work and I was so happy to see my kiddos.  When I walked in the class, I was greeted by all these notes!!! I took them home tonight and I just finished reading them all and they are so sweet!

The day went well, I sat most of the day because it hurts to stand for a long period of time.  I really had a good day and the kids were so happy to see me (the clapped when I opened the door in the morning...it was so cute).  The day went fairly fast and after school I had so much to do. I AM EXHAUSTED!!! Tomorrow I go in for more blood work to check my hormone levels...one more week until we find out.  I dont know if I can make it!!! Til next time...xo

Thank you!

Hi everyone! Not much going on in the Sotomayor house the past few days! Today I finally got out of bed and took a shower...applause!!! LOL I seriously have been bed-riden since Tuesday!!! Now I'm up and about and enjoying this rainy day at home. This morning we had some visitors come by and shower us with Coffee Bean and treats (thanks pastor Dan & Jess..we love you!).  Other than that, I'm taking my meds and doing my dreadful shot in the tushy every night :(

I titled this post ''THANK YOU"because I am so overwhelmed by YOU...all of you that have been so supportive and helpful.  Thank you for every comment, every prayer and every offer to help.  Thank you for every phone call, encouraging text and email.  Thank you for every meal and visit.  Thank you for every card, treat and baby book/magazine.  Thank you for allowing me to cry on your shoulders the past few years.  Thank you to my friends far and close who are praying for me.  Thank you to my work colleagues that have been there for me in so many ways and for all the support you continuously give me.  I really cannot thank you all enough.  I have the best support group...my beautiful friends and family. I couldn't have gone through this with out you. Until next time...xo

Day 2 on bed rest...I'm already going crazy!!! LOL

Good morning all...well, I'm on day 2 of bed rest.  I must say that Im pretty relaxed...not bored just restless. Its all good though because its all for a good cause :)

I saw this commercial while I was watching TV and I just had to google it.  It has such a sweet message. Its a Pampers commercial called "Miracle"...to all the moms and future moms out there, you will enjoy it! xo

Embryo Transfer Done!!! Now bed rest!

Today went really well! We got to the hospital around 7am and they took me right into the back.  I took a valium before we went and it was nice! LOL I had never taken one of those before...anyway they took us back and had us meet with the embryologist and nurse.  She showed us a picture of our embryos and said they looked great.  We signed a few forms and I was told to change.

Ok, after I changed, they led us into the laboratory and we got to see our embryos under the microscope! I started to tear up...OMG our little embryos were there. A product of me and my hubby fighting to become a potential baby. Wow. Such an amazing process.

These are our 2 embryos!!! This is what they look like after 5 days :)

Ohhh...I forgot to mention that I had to drink soooo much water before hand so the ultrasound could be clearer. Woah...I was scared I was going to pee on my doctor! My bladder was sooooo full!!!

Afterwards we went back into the procedure room and they dimmed the lights because embryos are sensitive to light and smells. I will spare you the lovely details...The procedure went relatively fast; probably over in 30 minutes.  Afterwards I had to lay on my back for an hour (minus the several times I went to empty my bladder). After my hubby and I had "a moment", we invited our entourage in the room with us! My mom, dad, brother, Casie and Tammy. I love them. 

So now, I will continue a few meds and stay laying on my back for three days...its almost 6pm right now and Ive been on my back since 8 am and I'm already going crazy!! LOL. I'm used to being  a busy body! I go back next week for a hormone level blood test and in 2 weeks for my pregnancy test.  Til next time...xo

After we got home, my mom and Casie on bed rest with me :)