Its been a really long time...

I know its been a REALLY long time since I last posted.  As a matter of fact, I think it was soon after we got home that I last wrote.  Life has been fun and amazing!! We absolutely LOVE being parents and spending time with our daughter.  She is now almost 8 months...time is flying! The holidays are approaching and I'm so excited.  Obviously, I cannot fill you in on the last 8 months, but here are a few pics of what our life has been like since Zarah was born!

This is me at 1 month on the left and Zarah at 1 month on the right!!! Crazy huh? 

Baby shower in San Jose :)

My school baby shower! 

Baby Shower/Celebration #4

First Mothers Day!

Mothers Day...Zarah was dedicated at church

2 month Dr. appt

Sea World

We took her where we got married in San Diego! I walked down that aisle :)

Ready for summer

She loves the water!

Photo shoot in bed! 

I can sit finally!!!!

Plane ride ;)

Finally...she's here! Zarah Amana Sotomayor!

I know this post is way overdue BUT I'm a mommy now! I don't have a lot of free time anymore!  Here's the quick version from where I left off...

Our birthmom, Apolonia, called and said that she had a dr appt and was already dilated to a 3! So we knew the time was approaching soon.  A few days later, she texted me and told me that she lost her mucus plug sooooo we immediately booked our flights and flew out to Tennessee the next day! We landed in Tennesee on Sunday night at midnight. On Tuesday afternoon, we had lunch with Apolonia and finally met her face to face.  It felt like a first date! LOL It was so good to finally meet her after all the phone calls/texts! She was so petite and beautiful face to face and we couldn't believe that this was really happening.  Lunch was amazing. We talked for about 3 hours.  During the lunch, she said that Zarah (in her tummy) kept moving :)

Later that evening around 10:30pm, we got a phone call from Apolonia saying that she was being admitted to the hospital and she was already dilated to a 5!!! So we hurried up and sped to the hospital! Boy were we excited...and scared! Once we got there, she had an epidural and was resting so we didnt get to see her until the next morning.  We also were admitted and got our own room and all!

We hardly slept that night because we were bursting with excitement! We were kept up to date by the wonderful hosptial staff, as well as Apolonia and we waited....and waited...and then finally we got a call that Apolonia was at a 10 and was ready to push!!! I hurried down the hall to her room and T went to the waiting room.  THE TIME WAS HERE!  After about 3 good pushes, Zarah was born at 12:27pm weighing 7lbs, 7oz and 19.5 inches in length! I got to cut the cord and immediately do skin-to-skin contact! Did I mention she even has a dimple like me??? Her ethnicity is half African American & 1/4 Salvadorean & 1/4 Guatamalean.  Daddy is half Salvadorean! We like to say that "God is a tailor"!

We stayed at the hospital for 3 days until we were discharged with Zarah and then we stayed in Tennessee until we were cleared to fly home with her back to California.  We were there almost 3 weeks.  We couldnt wait to come home! My parents met us at the airport and it was a magical reunion...now with our daughter!

We LOVE her soooo much and we LOVE being parents.  She was definately worth the wait! God is so faithful and His timing is perfect.  We are so grateful to God for our miracle baby and for allowing us to be her parents.

Wow, we just spoke to our beautiful birthmom again this morning.  She is amazing.  We talked for about 30 minutes and its always so joyful to talk to her. We talk about all sorts of things; TV shows, favorite foods, favorite past times, etc. We talk about baby stuff too. She had a doctor appointment on Thursday and and she is already dialated to a 1!! Baby is already 5 pounds and healthy!!!

Well, this morning, she sent me the sound of her heart beat from her last appointment and I COMPLETELY BROKE! I haven't cried that hard in a long time, but this time they are tears of JOY! My beautiful baby girl's heart beating so strong...from one mother to another. God is so faithful.

We are officially "matched"!!!

I know its been a long time since I last wrote but that was because honestly, there wasn't much to write about on my adoption journey.  Adoption can take a really long time. There are so many legalities to take care of so we have been doing that and just waiting for "the call".

Well...we got a phone call from our agency case worker on Tuesday that we had been chosen by 2 birth moms in 1 day! Woah! One was for a baby boy and one for a baby girl that were both going to be born NEXT MONTH! After looking over all the information and paperwork, we decided to move forward with the baby girl! So our agency set up a phone call between us and our birth mom yesterday and it couldn't have gone any better! I was super nervous and so was she! We talked for about 40 minutes and we both just shared our stories and shared our hearts.  She said we were "un milagro" (a miracle) to her and she is so glad she found us.  She said that we are everything and more she wanted for her unborn baby. I told her that we feel the exact same way about her...that she is OUR miracle and we are soooo thankful for her act of love and unselfishness.  T asked if he could pray for her and she said yes, so we prayed and she began to cry.  She said that she is so relieved to know that her unborn baby will be so loved.

So now we are officially "matched".  Our baby girl will be here before we know it.  She is due on March 26th in Tennessee.  So we will be flying there around the time of the birth and flying home with our daughter!!!  She is healthy and is growing according to schedule.  We are BEYOND happy and excited!  I will actually be a mom this Mother's Day!! Wow! I'm still in shock! If you know me well, you know I am an emotional person and I can cry watching a commercial LOL but seriously, I'm so excited and overwhelmed with JOY that I haven't even cried! God has worked this whole thing out. The puzzle pieces are coming together and its so amazing.  We signed up with our agency on Valentines Day one year ago and literally to the day, this Valentine's Day we were matched and got to talk to our birth mom! Coincidence?? No...God directing our path?? YES!

"Pain"

I found this poem online...describes where I'm at right now.

Don't let them get too close - 
Too close to see my pain.
Because if they look real close,
They will see the tears that fall like rain.
The room is picked,
And baby's things collected.
But, inside that empty room,
Something needs corrected.
Because there's a crib and a cradle -
There are baby toys and clothes too.
But, there is not a baby -
No baby to fill this womb.
I cannot stop the crying,
And my pain won't subside.
I'm lost for ways of trying;
I've run out of places to hide.
The holidays they come and go -
All the years that I look back.
And now I find the future's grim
When I look at what I lack.
I try to hang onto hope - 
I try to wait and see.
But sometimes it's hard to cope
When I think it may never be.
I'm not the only one that finds it hard - 
Sometimes I wish I were.
So tell me where to go from here -
Please tell me where to go.
Things just seem so unclear,
And it has challenged all I know.
It has tested and confused me.
It has brought me to my knees.
And now it's too hard to see
Just what you need from me.
Is it something I am doing wrong?
Is there something I can do?
You see, I've been waiting for so long,
And I've been crying out to you.
Please don't let this be a barren place- 
In this place where my child should be.
Let me see your loving grace.
Please bring my child to me.
Rock-a-bye baby... 
I hold you so dear.
Even if it's only in my heart
That I'm holding you near.

Happy Mothers Day!

Well, today was actually a good day! Thank you LORD! This was the first mothers day in 5 years that I haven't cried and I held it together! I feel expectant...I'm excited that this will be my last Mothers Day holiday that I'm not a mother. I'm so excited about our future. So excited! We got an email that said we were shown to nine birth moms last month! Nothing is set in stone yet, but I can just "feel it".  My hubby and I joke around, but really we ARE expecting! A pregnancy takes nine months and hopefully in nine months (or sooner), we will be matched with our baby!

So, Happy Mothers Day to all my friends that are mommies. You are amazing!!!

Until next time...xo

Nugget of hope...

God gave me a nugget of hope! I got the term "nugget' from my dear friend Pam.

Yesterday I was having a really hard day. Really hard.  As soon as work was over, I immediately left and came home and cried! I had been holding it in all day but with 30 little ones, you have to be "on" all the time! I'm sure it was partially hormones but also knowing that Mothers Day is coming soon has been on my mind.  Every store has it plastered everywhere and for the infertile woman its really hard. I know...you are probably all thinking...but its several weeks away!!! Nope, for me, it marks yet another year that we are childless and holidays are especially hard. 

I texted my closest girlfriends (including my mommy) and told them that I needed prayer.  I'm so blessed to have an amazing group of friends that I can be real with.  I immediately got texts from them saying they were praying for me and they gave me words of encouragement.  Even until the late evening last night, I was getting texts saying "just thinking of you" and "how are you?".  HOW AWESOME IS THAT? I wish everyone had friends like mine :)

Well...today I got an email from our adoption agency letting me know that we have already been presented to 5 birthmoms! We have only been fully in the system for one full month! All of the birthmoms that our agency works with are in the beginning of their 3rd trimester so at this rate, we could have a baby by the end of the year! God knew that I was feeling down yesterday and today He gave me a sign of hope! God is good!

So thats the lastest...xo!